a new kind of happy

So, here's the blog you've all been waiting for...

Imagine with me if you will: It's a hot july afternoon, to keep cool, I keep hydradrated... wondering around the zoo/park/mall/school/airport/fill-in-the-blank, I just finish off a venti starbucks ice water, and a frapucino... not long afterward, I find myself in need to empty myself of the aforementioned liquids, again.

I go into the "lady's room" and find myself a nice stall... I open the door and look at the toilet before me... I smile, I almost laugh out loud with pleasure... its just a good old fashioned toilet.

I lay down the appropriate protective barrier sheets, 2 to be safe, and do my emptying... upon finishing up, I flush, leave the stall, wash my hands, carefully as to avoid undue contamination of the hands when leaving, and thats the end of it...

This blissful, 'normal' routine is a dying breed of public restroom experiences...

Now imagine with me, another scenario, I'll pick up where I walk into the "lady's room": I find myself a nice stall... I open the door and look at the toilet before me... I cringe, I almost cry out in horror... its one of the new automatic toilets.

I lay down the appropriate barrier sheets, 2 to be safe, turn around to sit, and "flush!" there goes all my work!!! sometimes this may repeat....
oftentimes, while sitting down, the toilet decides my 2 seconds are up and "flush!" there it goes, with me on it! I stand up to avoid the inevitable spray, but its too late of course... I wonder if some sick designer intended to put a 2 second toilet time limit before flushing... hmm...

I'm sick of it. I'm sick of the shocking, preemptive, spray inducing, startling automatic flush.

Stand with me friends... stand with me for a world where we flush our own toilets... a world without fear of germ infested public urine spray... a world where our children can grow up in safety... never worrying about peeing thier pants because they they have to lay down another toilet seat cover because the first was flushed by the automatic toilet monster....

ahh, what a world that would be... times like these I long for the past... and I mourn that when I see an old-fashioned flush toilet, that it puts a smile on my face, and a joy in my heart. There are better things to find bliss in than a toilet.