So, as the Westminster Confession points out, the chief end of man is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever.
Is that it? I was talking the other day to daru and it became clear to me that I don't live entirely in that freedom... I love to glorify God, and I love to enjoy Him. I'm a fairly joyful person, yet despite my natural propensity to enjoy life and God, and my intentiality of glorifying Him, I place ALOT of pressure on myself. I feel as though I've just always been called to be "change in His pocket", and that deep knowledge has translated into a great desire to always be ready, waiting for the slightest whisper or sound of the breeze, hearing God in the softest of voices, and responding. On the surface, and most often in practicality, this has worked out well. I've grown accustomed to listening, attempting to respond at times, and really looking at my life through better lenses than I would have otherwise been wearing.
But... what about the ease and light burden of simply (and sometimes, not so simply) glorifying God, and enjoying Him forever.
I think I gotta work on this. Let go a little bit on the intensity of being ready, and maybe trusting that God knows how to get my attention. Or, maybe being aware and feeling that pressure, is glorifying God. Maybe He wants me to share His burden and heart for others continually, even when its heavy... maybe I need to pray about it and let Him let me know.
Still working on it... how do you have a light and easy burden, glorify God, enjoy Him, and still strive for, I don't know... perpetual preparedness?
Friday, March 31, 2006
I'm a sheep
OK, this is going back a ways, but I wanted to start here. Back in July, 2001, I was at homegroup and I had a vision during worship.
In a lightly wooded forest on a path, I was a small a sheep, but also a person. In front of me was Jesus on the path. Three times he beckoned me to follow. Then I looked to my left and saw another Jesus and a big field opened up behind him. It was a nice open field and light, but I felt unsettled. I heard God tell me it was a false Jesus. I then looked back to Jesus in front of me who wanted me to follow him down the path we were on. I tried to look down the path, straining to see the end to see if it was truly dark and bad at the end too, but I couldn't see the end of the path to know...
I then heard Jesus say "you are my sheep and my sheep know my voice. It's good to be concerned about being decieved, but don't worry, because you are my sheep and you know my voice."
At the time I felt He was saying if I stopped and thought about it, I could tell if it was Him or not. Since then, I've had many times seeing Jesus before me beckoning me onward... about a year and a half ago, I couldn't step forward and didn't know why. I felt so scared to trust. Since moving back home to CA, God has be restoring me, dusting me off, and helping me onward.
When I first got here last January, an uncle of mine was praying for me and had a vision of a bird in cage, with this finger sitting there trying to get the bird to come out. I was that bird, skittish, beaten... but also in that picture he saw that the bird would come out again and fly like it used to. I am that bird, stretching my wings, remembering what its like to soar.
Actually, now that I think about it, a couple of years ago one friend of mine saw me as a bird in a nest, and she said it was time to fly. A little while later another woman at church was praying for me and said lots of birds fly and beat there wings working to stay in the air in the direction they want to go. But I was different, a bird that would glide and then an updraft would take me higher and I would just go with the air currents. Well, I'm not always sure what direction the wind is blowing, but I do feel that I'm out of that darn cage.
But most of all, I know I'm His sheep, and I hear His voice. He told me that once, and I've oftentimes had to remind myself! When I get nervous and scared sometimes to step out of my comfort zone and risk, especially with communicating with people... I often have to remind myself that I'm His sheep and I hear His voice.
In a lightly wooded forest on a path, I was a small a sheep, but also a person. In front of me was Jesus on the path. Three times he beckoned me to follow. Then I looked to my left and saw another Jesus and a big field opened up behind him. It was a nice open field and light, but I felt unsettled. I heard God tell me it was a false Jesus. I then looked back to Jesus in front of me who wanted me to follow him down the path we were on. I tried to look down the path, straining to see the end to see if it was truly dark and bad at the end too, but I couldn't see the end of the path to know...
I then heard Jesus say "you are my sheep and my sheep know my voice. It's good to be concerned about being decieved, but don't worry, because you are my sheep and you know my voice."
At the time I felt He was saying if I stopped and thought about it, I could tell if it was Him or not. Since then, I've had many times seeing Jesus before me beckoning me onward... about a year and a half ago, I couldn't step forward and didn't know why. I felt so scared to trust. Since moving back home to CA, God has be restoring me, dusting me off, and helping me onward.
When I first got here last January, an uncle of mine was praying for me and had a vision of a bird in cage, with this finger sitting there trying to get the bird to come out. I was that bird, skittish, beaten... but also in that picture he saw that the bird would come out again and fly like it used to. I am that bird, stretching my wings, remembering what its like to soar.
Actually, now that I think about it, a couple of years ago one friend of mine saw me as a bird in a nest, and she said it was time to fly. A little while later another woman at church was praying for me and said lots of birds fly and beat there wings working to stay in the air in the direction they want to go. But I was different, a bird that would glide and then an updraft would take me higher and I would just go with the air currents. Well, I'm not always sure what direction the wind is blowing, but I do feel that I'm out of that darn cage.
But most of all, I know I'm His sheep, and I hear His voice. He told me that once, and I've oftentimes had to remind myself! When I get nervous and scared sometimes to step out of my comfort zone and risk, especially with communicating with people... I often have to remind myself that I'm His sheep and I hear His voice.
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