Thursday, May 11, 2006
Baby McNugget
shhh... right now I'm sitting here at my mudda's house holding my nephew... so cute, so sleepy, so waiting for mom to return! Its so amazing to see a little baby look so right, he fits so perfectly... he's got the same little features that go in my family... so precious!
Wednesday, April 12, 2006
the blessing
So, this is what I'm thinking... something I've been meditating on and somehow it makes sense. I think God wants it to go deep, so, I'll keep on doing more studying and therefore, perhaps updating this!
I've been reading in Genesis about Isaac, and his sons Jacob and Esau. So, Jacob and Esau, are living life, and Esau being the manly man hunter that he is comes home starving. Jacob had just finished making some amazing food, so, Esau in his desperation to ease his discomfort agrees to the cunning Jacob to give him his birthright in exchange for some food. Seems pretty lazy, but I know what I would give for some chocolate or Jamba now and again, so, I won't judge.
Time passes, we now find Isaac nearing the time of his death. He tells Esau to prepare a meal to have with him after his hunt and he will pass on his blessing. The sneaky Jacob once again (with the help of his mom), impersonates Esau, and brings Isaac the food (its meat, but somehow I think of it as hot delicious soup...)in order to recieve Esau's blessing. Isaac falls for the trickery, because his sight isn't so great, and blesses Jacob with Esau's blessing. He says:
27:28 May God give you the dew of the sky and the richness of the earth, and plenty of grain and new wine. 27:29 May peoples serve you and nations bow down to you. You will be lord over your brothers, and the sons of your mother will bow down to you. May those who curse you be cursed, and those who bless you be blessed.”
When Esau returns and approaches Isaac, he finds out what happens and begs his dad for the blessing too. Instead, Isaac says he only had one blessing to give and instead seems to curse Esau whom is rightly upset, he later wants to kill Jacob.
Esau's 'blessing' goes like this:
He took away my birthright, and now, look, he has taken away my blessing!” Then he asked, “Have you not kept back a blessing for me?” 27:37 Isaac replied to Esau, “Look! I have made him lord over you. I have made all his relatives his servants and provided him with grain and new wine. What is left that I can do for you, my son?” 27:38 Esau said to his father, “Do you have only that one blessing, my father? Bless me too!” Then Esau wept loudly.
So, I got to thinking about blessings, and blessings from fathers. Why is it that Isaac had only one blessing to give? Why couldn't he bless Esau to the same degree? That little twerp, how could he get away with it? And later Isaac helps him even more and send him in the right direction for finding a wife and fleeing Esau's wrath.
But, then I realized that Jesus, as God's own son, and firstborn, has all of God's blessing. He has the blessing. All of it. wow. that's gotta be a BIG blessing. More than I could ever dream of. Good things, properity, abundance, life, authority, imagination, family.... so many things. And what's more is, as the Holy Spirit comes and lives within those who recieve Him, we also have Jesus living within us. We have the blessing too. cool. So much more blessing than we can imagine. Not just any blessing, the blessing of a father to his firstborn son, the blessing of inheritance.
I want to let that soak in. I already know it sometimes, but then sometimes it seems to fade to the background and then God shows me something that reminds me again of his fatherly tender love, and all that he lavishes on me... and seeing it through the OT stories is a fun way to be reminded.
I've been reading in Genesis about Isaac, and his sons Jacob and Esau. So, Jacob and Esau, are living life, and Esau being the manly man hunter that he is comes home starving. Jacob had just finished making some amazing food, so, Esau in his desperation to ease his discomfort agrees to the cunning Jacob to give him his birthright in exchange for some food. Seems pretty lazy, but I know what I would give for some chocolate or Jamba now and again, so, I won't judge.
Time passes, we now find Isaac nearing the time of his death. He tells Esau to prepare a meal to have with him after his hunt and he will pass on his blessing. The sneaky Jacob once again (with the help of his mom), impersonates Esau, and brings Isaac the food (its meat, but somehow I think of it as hot delicious soup...)in order to recieve Esau's blessing. Isaac falls for the trickery, because his sight isn't so great, and blesses Jacob with Esau's blessing. He says:
27:28 May God give you the dew of the sky and the richness of the earth, and plenty of grain and new wine. 27:29 May peoples serve you and nations bow down to you. You will be lord over your brothers, and the sons of your mother will bow down to you. May those who curse you be cursed, and those who bless you be blessed.”
When Esau returns and approaches Isaac, he finds out what happens and begs his dad for the blessing too. Instead, Isaac says he only had one blessing to give and instead seems to curse Esau whom is rightly upset, he later wants to kill Jacob.
Esau's 'blessing' goes like this:
He took away my birthright, and now, look, he has taken away my blessing!” Then he asked, “Have you not kept back a blessing for me?” 27:37 Isaac replied to Esau, “Look! I have made him lord over you. I have made all his relatives his servants and provided him with grain and new wine. What is left that I can do for you, my son?” 27:38 Esau said to his father, “Do you have only that one blessing, my father? Bless me too!” Then Esau wept loudly.
27:39 So his father Isaac said to him, Indeed, your home will be away from the richness of the earth, and away from the dew of the sky above. 27:40 You will live by your sword but you will serve your brother. When you grow restless, you will tear off his yoke from your neck.”
So, I got to thinking about blessings, and blessings from fathers. Why is it that Isaac had only one blessing to give? Why couldn't he bless Esau to the same degree? That little twerp, how could he get away with it? And later Isaac helps him even more and send him in the right direction for finding a wife and fleeing Esau's wrath.
But, then I realized that Jesus, as God's own son, and firstborn, has all of God's blessing. He has the blessing. All of it. wow. that's gotta be a BIG blessing. More than I could ever dream of. Good things, properity, abundance, life, authority, imagination, family.... so many things. And what's more is, as the Holy Spirit comes and lives within those who recieve Him, we also have Jesus living within us. We have the blessing too. cool. So much more blessing than we can imagine. Not just any blessing, the blessing of a father to his firstborn son, the blessing of inheritance.
I want to let that soak in. I already know it sometimes, but then sometimes it seems to fade to the background and then God shows me something that reminds me again of his fatherly tender love, and all that he lavishes on me... and seeing it through the OT stories is a fun way to be reminded.
Wednesday, April 05, 2006
living
sitting here
nothing, everything
happening
leaning in
actively waiting
engaging
sitting back
laughing, enjoying
being
nothing, everything
happening
leaning in
actively waiting
engaging
sitting back
laughing, enjoying
being
Friday, March 31, 2006
is that it?
So, as the Westminster Confession points out, the chief end of man is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever.
Is that it? I was talking the other day to daru and it became clear to me that I don't live entirely in that freedom... I love to glorify God, and I love to enjoy Him. I'm a fairly joyful person, yet despite my natural propensity to enjoy life and God, and my intentiality of glorifying Him, I place ALOT of pressure on myself. I feel as though I've just always been called to be "change in His pocket", and that deep knowledge has translated into a great desire to always be ready, waiting for the slightest whisper or sound of the breeze, hearing God in the softest of voices, and responding. On the surface, and most often in practicality, this has worked out well. I've grown accustomed to listening, attempting to respond at times, and really looking at my life through better lenses than I would have otherwise been wearing.
But... what about the ease and light burden of simply (and sometimes, not so simply) glorifying God, and enjoying Him forever.
I think I gotta work on this. Let go a little bit on the intensity of being ready, and maybe trusting that God knows how to get my attention. Or, maybe being aware and feeling that pressure, is glorifying God. Maybe He wants me to share His burden and heart for others continually, even when its heavy... maybe I need to pray about it and let Him let me know.
Still working on it... how do you have a light and easy burden, glorify God, enjoy Him, and still strive for, I don't know... perpetual preparedness?
Is that it? I was talking the other day to daru and it became clear to me that I don't live entirely in that freedom... I love to glorify God, and I love to enjoy Him. I'm a fairly joyful person, yet despite my natural propensity to enjoy life and God, and my intentiality of glorifying Him, I place ALOT of pressure on myself. I feel as though I've just always been called to be "change in His pocket", and that deep knowledge has translated into a great desire to always be ready, waiting for the slightest whisper or sound of the breeze, hearing God in the softest of voices, and responding. On the surface, and most often in practicality, this has worked out well. I've grown accustomed to listening, attempting to respond at times, and really looking at my life through better lenses than I would have otherwise been wearing.
But... what about the ease and light burden of simply (and sometimes, not so simply) glorifying God, and enjoying Him forever.
I think I gotta work on this. Let go a little bit on the intensity of being ready, and maybe trusting that God knows how to get my attention. Or, maybe being aware and feeling that pressure, is glorifying God. Maybe He wants me to share His burden and heart for others continually, even when its heavy... maybe I need to pray about it and let Him let me know.
Still working on it... how do you have a light and easy burden, glorify God, enjoy Him, and still strive for, I don't know... perpetual preparedness?
I'm a sheep
OK, this is going back a ways, but I wanted to start here. Back in July, 2001, I was at homegroup and I had a vision during worship.
In a lightly wooded forest on a path, I was a small a sheep, but also a person. In front of me was Jesus on the path. Three times he beckoned me to follow. Then I looked to my left and saw another Jesus and a big field opened up behind him. It was a nice open field and light, but I felt unsettled. I heard God tell me it was a false Jesus. I then looked back to Jesus in front of me who wanted me to follow him down the path we were on. I tried to look down the path, straining to see the end to see if it was truly dark and bad at the end too, but I couldn't see the end of the path to know...
I then heard Jesus say "you are my sheep and my sheep know my voice. It's good to be concerned about being decieved, but don't worry, because you are my sheep and you know my voice."
At the time I felt He was saying if I stopped and thought about it, I could tell if it was Him or not. Since then, I've had many times seeing Jesus before me beckoning me onward... about a year and a half ago, I couldn't step forward and didn't know why. I felt so scared to trust. Since moving back home to CA, God has be restoring me, dusting me off, and helping me onward.
When I first got here last January, an uncle of mine was praying for me and had a vision of a bird in cage, with this finger sitting there trying to get the bird to come out. I was that bird, skittish, beaten... but also in that picture he saw that the bird would come out again and fly like it used to. I am that bird, stretching my wings, remembering what its like to soar.
Actually, now that I think about it, a couple of years ago one friend of mine saw me as a bird in a nest, and she said it was time to fly. A little while later another woman at church was praying for me and said lots of birds fly and beat there wings working to stay in the air in the direction they want to go. But I was different, a bird that would glide and then an updraft would take me higher and I would just go with the air currents. Well, I'm not always sure what direction the wind is blowing, but I do feel that I'm out of that darn cage.
But most of all, I know I'm His sheep, and I hear His voice. He told me that once, and I've oftentimes had to remind myself! When I get nervous and scared sometimes to step out of my comfort zone and risk, especially with communicating with people... I often have to remind myself that I'm His sheep and I hear His voice.
In a lightly wooded forest on a path, I was a small a sheep, but also a person. In front of me was Jesus on the path. Three times he beckoned me to follow. Then I looked to my left and saw another Jesus and a big field opened up behind him. It was a nice open field and light, but I felt unsettled. I heard God tell me it was a false Jesus. I then looked back to Jesus in front of me who wanted me to follow him down the path we were on. I tried to look down the path, straining to see the end to see if it was truly dark and bad at the end too, but I couldn't see the end of the path to know...
I then heard Jesus say "you are my sheep and my sheep know my voice. It's good to be concerned about being decieved, but don't worry, because you are my sheep and you know my voice."
At the time I felt He was saying if I stopped and thought about it, I could tell if it was Him or not. Since then, I've had many times seeing Jesus before me beckoning me onward... about a year and a half ago, I couldn't step forward and didn't know why. I felt so scared to trust. Since moving back home to CA, God has be restoring me, dusting me off, and helping me onward.
When I first got here last January, an uncle of mine was praying for me and had a vision of a bird in cage, with this finger sitting there trying to get the bird to come out. I was that bird, skittish, beaten... but also in that picture he saw that the bird would come out again and fly like it used to. I am that bird, stretching my wings, remembering what its like to soar.
Actually, now that I think about it, a couple of years ago one friend of mine saw me as a bird in a nest, and she said it was time to fly. A little while later another woman at church was praying for me and said lots of birds fly and beat there wings working to stay in the air in the direction they want to go. But I was different, a bird that would glide and then an updraft would take me higher and I would just go with the air currents. Well, I'm not always sure what direction the wind is blowing, but I do feel that I'm out of that darn cage.
But most of all, I know I'm His sheep, and I hear His voice. He told me that once, and I've oftentimes had to remind myself! When I get nervous and scared sometimes to step out of my comfort zone and risk, especially with communicating with people... I often have to remind myself that I'm His sheep and I hear His voice.
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